I'm starting to panic. I am almost like holding my breath waiting for the emotions to swing in. But at the same time, I'm trying to be strong for my other 2 kids. However, giving birth to your dead baby at the end of pregnancy is a nightmare I cannot forget. I panic/hyperventilate/cry when I have medical procedures done. I feel guilty that I can't look at his pictures - he's so much more beautiful in my memory. I remember wishing 6 months would magically go by after he first died, and I'm now wishing the next 8 days would just disappear so I can get on with my life again. He's always in my heart and in my mind.

Dear Courtney,

I am sorry you are starting to panic about your sweet son's birthday. Anniversary's are so hard aren't they.

I would love to do something that hopefully might make you smile. Something for you and your family in your little boy's memory. Maybe one day if you feel like it you could have a look at my website "To Write Their Names In The Sand" at www.namesinthesand.blogspot.com

I hope that the next two weeks brings you hope, peace and much strength.

Many Wishes

Carly

oh Courtney, my heart is with you. Please know that it is ok to "not be strong"; I think it is healthy for children to see us grieve and be sad. I do sometimes find it hard to lose control in-front of my girls, but they seem to understand it well and take it all in stride.
I totally hear you and understand your feelings. I also feel his photos are a far cry from how he looked to be in the few hours we had together. Please do not feel guilty. Photos are not necc accurate either. ((hugs))

What a long and winding road this journey of grief and healing is... I am thinking of you, Courtney, and wishing that these days will pass as gently as possible.

Courtney, I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I could say something that might help. Anniversaries are *so* hard. And this is all just so awful. I hope you can be gentle with yourself over the next few days, and please know that you are not alone.

I'm thinking of you.