We spent months carefully curating a birth playlist, each song imbued with meaning, hopes, future plans communicated through song. Each one was a specially chosen message to my baby, my way of expressing my visions of our love. They were mostly joyful songs about the promise of a life about to unfold, as I anticipated seeing the world anew through her eyes. Music was a way to express a feeling that transcended words.
Read MoreLittle missives from beyond time and space
Afloat on currents of molecules, suspended in the gaseous elements…?
Too fanciful, I think, too cute. Too good to be true.
I find myself listening for them, though, despite my better judgment,
On the off chance, that maybe, just maybe, there’s something there.
visions of a world with 2 boys and a girl
erupt in the living room
erecting an ugly brick wall between the gifts i have
and the one that was taken back
You share toys, baby gear, DNA, a bedroom. She uses your hand-me-downs, less worn than we expected. When she reached the equivalent weeks as you were when you were born, I delicately placed her on your blankets and photographed her at the only age you two have had in common. And she is the only person who has lived inside the same home you did: Me.
Read MoreBereaved parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion, and the other side of getting through this mess called grief.
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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.
Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.
: for one and all
: ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss
: not ttc | infertility after loss
: parenting after loss
: on the bookshelf
: how to stop lactation when there is no baby
: how to help a friend through babyloss
: how to plan a baby's funeral
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