Pure motherly love
/
source
At 6 days old Theodore was diagnosed with an infection from which he did not recover. He passed away in Mallory’s arms on February 8th 2020, after ten days with their perfect baby boy. Mallory has a strong desire to connect with other loss moms who want nothing more than to remember the child they love.
I am writing this post as tears roll down my face. Despite the tears falling, I am feeling strong.
These past few months, I have struggled with the idea of looking at, let alone, sharing pictures of Theodore.
Early this morning, for some reason I felt different. I felt the urge to go into the album labeled Theo (what I thought we would call him for short) on my phone. I felt a strong desire to relive every moment I spent with my son.
I wanted to remember what I felt when the nurse placed him in my arms for those short few minutes after giving birth. I wanted to remember how smooth his skin was and how soft his hair felt under my fingers when I would gently rub his head. I wanted to remember his eyes and how much he already looked like his daddy. I wanted to remember the happiness I felt to be his mother.
Did doing this make me sad? Yes.
Did I cry hard gut wrenching sobs? You bet.
But you know what? I am ok with that.
As I looked at his pictures and even watched a video. I felt so much love for him that I welcomed the pain.
The tears that fell this morning, the tears falling now and the tears that will fall in the days to come, are tears of pure motherly love. An emotion that only a mother can truly feel and I am that, his mother.
What little victories — even if it meant opening up to the loss — have you had lately?